The Father’s Day poem you’ll never see at Hallmark

To  my husband, the father of my children and my favorite person to laugh with:

I’m sorry…
I joked that we were going to tattoo Jabba the Hut on your belly
And told the kids that you once let out a fart so big
it ripped a hole in your sweatpants

Thank you for…
Wearing the fake mustache to Subway and
scaring that gaggle of small children,
Saying you liked the Yodeling Pickle
I got you for Christmas
Making me killer egg-white veggie omelettes
that you flip in the pan like a real chef,
And for always chopping my onions

I remember…
the day we drove home from the hospital
with the first little peanut in the back seat
We felt like we were driving the getaway car
from the biggest heist of our lives
Now here we are, ten years and two peanuts later
They make us crazy, make us laugh, make us wonder
what we’ve gotten ourselves into
I’m so glad you are my partner in crime, my parent in kind

You show me…
How to be calm in the face of a million small disasters
like the lost puppy key chain/skull earring/LEGO Indiana Jones guy’s head
the tooth that wouldn’t come loose
and that time I got the round spiky brush stuck in our daughter’s hair
(so glad that didn’t leave a bald spot)

You make us all stronger, happier, better
And more well-fed than if I did all the cooking
You are the sun to my shine
the sweet to my tooth
the Jimmy to my Choo

You’re the best dad
the best husband
the best man
Now let’s go get that tattoo!

Love,
Your Wife of 16 years and counting

3 Responses to “The Father’s Day poem you’ll never see at Hallmark”


  1. 1 Nichole Bazemore June 21, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    Beautiful and so clever! Is there really anything else to say?

  2. 3 Cathy P July 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    Excellent! ;o)


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