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When good gingerbread men go bad: how to bake the best of an awkward situation

Published December 22, 2010 Creative Families , Creative Life , Fun , Holidays Leave a Comment
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I ordered all my gifts online this year, which meant I had more time on my hands for attempting holiday-oriented crafts than in years past. My family was tentatively excited. I am not a “crafty” person, which surprises those who think creative professionals flit around in their spare time constantly dreaming up creative ways to engage our kids in “extreme” crafts that require gallons of tape, pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, egg cartons, paper towel rolls and stick-on eyes.

Nope. As a marketing copywriter, my job is to write copy that sells stuff somebody else made. That means my brain is already chock full of video white papers, engaging social media stories and visions of high email open rates and click-throughs dancing in my head. It’s a wonderful life indeed.

I decided to try making gingerbread cookies. I can hear pastry chefs everywhere now: Christy Miles, put down the decorating tips and cookie cutters and nobody gets hurt! The baking part is easy–buy a box mix, stir together the ingredients, roll out the dough, use the cookie cutters, snap! So easy. So deceiving. Then comes the decorating part. I distributed my homemade cookies to my neighbors for the first time this year and worried that my Gingerbread Men might scare the small children. Then I thought, nah, they’re cookies, kids will eat anything with frosting. And on the upside, at least everyone would know without a doubt that the cookies weren’t store-bought.

As my holiday gift to you, here are two of my gingerbread cookies with my quick marketing analysis.

 

The Mr. Bill Gingerbread Man

When I uploaded this photo, wordpress.com asked if I wanted to add an alternate text for the image, “i.e., the Mona Lisa.” Ha ha, WordPress, very funny!

He looks scared, this Gingerbread Man. Sadly, this is how many of my Gingerbread men turned out, looking vaguely like that old Saturday Night Live puppet/play-doh man Mr. Bill. My clumsy fingers could barely place the M&Ms gently into the small dollop of icing for the buttons. One even flipped over, showing the M, which I know would never cut it in the design or pastry world, but I was too lazy to fix it. Oh, who am I kidding, this wouldn’t even make a preschool’s line-up. Next up we have…

 

Bugsy the Bug-Eyed Gingerbread Man

When I started this cookie stuff, I was seriously intent on making cute gingerbread men. I got to this guy and thought, hmm, I wonder how he would look with M&Ms for eyes? No one ever shows Gingerbread Men with M&M eyes. Now we know why.

He looks freaked out or like he’s had a bad eye lift. Or perhaps it’s a goiter? We’ll never know. My family had a wonderful holiday moment as we tried to brainstorm what ailed Bugsy. Never mind the fact that Bugsy’s buttons are touching his mouth, the poor guy has no neck. But hey, he’s smiling.

My kids also decorated Gingerbread Men and they turned out to be much more fearless in their use of color, style and approach.

Kid-Friendly Gingerbread Men

OK, so the middle one has frosting bug eyes; getting the eyes right is definitely one of the trickiest parts. But all in all, these Gingerbread Men are fun, festive, colorful and look like they were made by kids for kids. Definitely more charming than my gingerbread freaks of nature. These would get eaten for sure.

Except not at my house. No one wants to eat them now because we are having too much fun making fun of them. So we’ve decided to make up a story about each Gingerbread Man and read them out loud on Christmas.

Writing. Now that I know how to do. This is why I’m a copywriter, not a pastry chef. :)

Happy holidays, everyone. Wishing you a wildly creative Christmas and New Year!

Drinking and decorating: The anti-Martha-Stewart-Pottery-Barn Christmas tree

Published December 17, 2010 Creative Families , Creative Life , Creative Parenting , Essays , Fun , Kids , Social Commentary 8 Comments
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Two years ago, I turned over the job of decorating my Christmas tree to my kids, then ages 7 and 9. We had just moved into our “new” 54-year-old house that needed a lot of TLC and was sucking the life out of us. After months of looking for new places for our furniture, artwork, books, games, dishes, and walking into walls in unfamiliar rooms in the middle of the night and grasping for unfamiliar light switches, the thought of having to find a good place for the Christmas tree was the last straw. I sat on the floor of the house that still felt like someone else’s and cried.

This was not Christmas as I’d known it growing up. Holidays were BIG at my house and consisted of cleaning, cooking, shopping, baking, more cleaning, coordinating outfits, practicing Christmas songs on the organ (I know, right???), wrapping, more cleaning, making cookies, making pierogis, and more cleaning. My mother spent days arranging decorations in the house; she was Martha Stewart before anyone had heard of Martha Stewart.

I was never permitted to touch the “good” tree upstairs, but I was allowed to decorate the “other” tree in the basement. I call it the consolation tree. (Usually my mother would come down later and rearrange all the ornaments again anyway.) Secretly I fear I’ll never be good enough to put together the good tree.

See, that’s why the holidays are tricky. There’s all this pressure to be merry and buy stuff but it’s also fraught with memories, good and bad. Sometime after Halloween, I remember all the old family holiday parties and every year, there are a few less faces around the table. Some years are harder than others. That year in our new old house was a hard one.

So I let my kids decorate the good–the only–tree all by themselves that year, and it was so much fun we decided to make it a new Miles family tradition. We play holiday music. I make hot chocolate.  The kids dance around all hopped up on sugar cookies. They make me wear the Santa hat with the reindeer antlers. But they take their job very seriously. Each ornament is placed with great care and consideration, although I have the most random, crazy mix of ornaments you could possibly imagine. It’s enough to make Martha’s toes curl.

The reactions to their decorating efforts are usually…not good. People walk in, look at the tree and say things like, “Oh my!” or “Were you drinking and decorating again?” It makes me wonder sometimes how my mom felt when she stood back, alone, to survey her tree and the trimmings and the perfection. I would ask, but her last Christmas was 16 years ago. If she could see my tree now, she would immediately shoo me out of the room so she could fix it. I would let her do it, but only if she wore the Santa hat with the reindeer antlers, which she’d hate because it would mess up her hair.

So yeah, my tree looks disheveled and a little tipsy, kind of like me after the neighborhood holiday party–OK, all of the neighborhood parties–and the complete opposite of any tree ever featured in Pottery Barn.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Take a break from holiday shopping: Get inspired at the Frank Lloyd Wright Home & Studio Tour

Published December 11, 2010 Creative Life , Creativity Coaching , Fun , Holidays , Social Commentary , Work Life Leave a Comment
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One of the best ways to stay creative and inspired is to keep your creative pond, an idea I first heard from The Artist’s Way author Julia Cameron, well stocked with creative eye candy and experiences: art, design, poetry, music, theater, anything that makes you feel alive and in awe. It can be somewhere as vast as the Grand Canyon or your own town’s farmer’s market. It’s even better when the inspiration is free and is good for the whole family–especially during the often hectic and frenetic holidays.

Case in point: the Frank Lloyd Wright Home and Studio tour. We surprised our kids with it this morning–woke them up, said let’s go, wouldn’t tell them where, stopped for doughnuts and headed out to Oak Park for the free Family Fun Days Featuring Victorian Christmas Tours.

For kids, by kids. Free tours of Wright’s Oak Park home, decorated for the holidays. Led by Junior Interpreters, specially trained 5th through 10th grade students, the tours focus on Wright family celebrations of the Christmas holidays. Enjoy hot chocolate and holiday music in the Home and Studio courtyard and play with Froebel blocks in Wright’s drafting room.

Fortunately my kids, ages 9 and 11, get as excited about architecture and history as my husband and I, so they were in awe of the unique home that looked nothing like any of the houses in our neighborhood. There was so much to take in: the old-fashioned toys, the huge Christmas tree in the children’s playroom (which also included a special staircase that led to a balcony for the Wright children to perform plays), the old ice box, and at the end of the tour, the Froebel blocks that were made available for anyone to play with, which we all did. The free hot chocolate was the icing on the cake of a cold, rainy winter day.

While there were adult guides throughout the house, kids ranging in age from 11 to 15 or so delivered the tour of each room–complete with historical details and tales of how the Wrights spent their holidays. They were professional and knowledgeable, and it was refreshing to see pre-teens and teens in this positive role–and I was happy that my children saw this as well. It wasn’t crowded, either, which made it easier to walk around the rooms and feast on the details without feeling pressure to move over or move on.

I told the kids to bring their wallets, and they found some cool, unique toys in the museum gift shop. (I talked my daughter out of the colored pencils, which we could buy anywhere, and she found a unique window glass art kit that she liked better.) Normally we wouldn’t buy stuff so close to Christmas, but it helps support the preservation trust, so it seemed like the right thing to do, especially since the tour was free.

We all left the house inspired by the architect’s vision, his unique design philosophy, the way natural light infused every room from the beautiful windows, building our own mini-creations with simple wooden blocks, the fascinating woodwork, attention to detail right down to the paint colors–Wright preferred natural earthy colors, according to our guides.

Standing there in Wright’s home, built in 1889, surrounded by moss-green walls, warm yet worn honey wood floors and light all around, it was impossible not to feel the beauty of his vision at every turn: a home filled with light and nature, form and function, beauty and tranquility.

It sure beat hanging out at the mall this time of year. Get creative. Stay creative. Even during the holidays.

To learn more about events sponsored by the Frank Lloyd Wright Preservation Trust, visit their website.

How to avoid creative burnout

Published December 8, 2010 Creative Life , Creative Writing , Creativity Coaching , Marketing 5 Comments
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Once as a freelance marketing writer, I agreed to a ridiculously insane deadline. (As opposed to a regularly insane deadline.) At 4:36PM on a Thursday, I was asked to solve a huge creative conundrum by 8:30am the next day. I was provided with three previously failed concepts and asked to “make them all work.” Somehow, someway. And if I had time, (ha!) maybe I could also come up with “a few” concepts of my own.

This to me was akin to working with both arms tied behind my back and a coyote chewing on my foot. With a paycheck at the end if I could get my hands untied and kick the coyote to kingdom come.

I worked all night. By 8:27am, I met the parameters and the deadline. I had successfully compressed the creative process, but the results could have been so much better if I had just had more time. And sleep. This is an excellent recipe for creative burnout.

While there will always be crunch times and projects, it’s never good if your entire working life is one ridiculously insane deadline after another. If you don’t take control of your creative life and deadlines, burnout is inevitable. So to help save your sanity, here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way…the hard way:

1. Don’t be afraid to abandon ideas. You might not be burnt out; maybe you’re simply tired of beating a dead horse. Sometimes you can find a way to make an idea work–some hidden angle or connection that comes with a fresh eye. But if it takes longer than say, 15 minutes, move on. You can always come back to it later–as in, for another project with a longer deadline and a completely different strategy.

2. Don’t taint the creative process. The worst thing you can do at the beginning of a new project is to focus on previous failed attempts. It’s like saying, “Ok, so here’s what didn’t work, what failed, what sucked. Now let’s find a way to make it work!”  Uh huh.

Start with the facts–the strategy, the objective, the primary goal or message. If the old ideas still have a shot, run with it. For 15 minutes. Then move on. Later you can ask what was tried before and what sucked, especially if you’re burnt out and need a giggle.

3. Ask for more time. It never hurts to ask what’s driving the deadline or if it’s a hard deadline. More often than not, you can get extra time–but not if you don’t ask up front. Sure, some of us ”need” deadlines to get things done. And you shouldn’t be a diva, constantly pushing back on deadline requests. But if you don’t give yourself enough time to think and simmer, the process will take longer, you’ll be miserable and…hello, burnout!

4. Say no. I still remember my grandmother, who grew up during the Great Depression, chiding me as a child for not eating my bread crusts, saying, “You never know when you might wish you had them.” This attitude permeates my work life, where I hate to say no to projects. But there are only so many things you can do at once before you lose your mind and your motivation.

It helps to “qualify your leads” ahead of time. Determine what your ideal sweet spot is for clients or projects–what’s most profitable for you? What’s your niche? Who is your ideal client? Define it all. Once you have these rules in place, it’s much easier to say no up front, before you overcommit or regret committing altogether.

5. Keep your creative warehouse full. All work and no play is the fastest way to drain your creativity. Read a little bit of everything you can get your hands on–blogs, magazines, newspapers, books, articles, white papers. Watch a little bit of everything you have time for–videos, vlogs, TV, movies. And most of all, be sure to get out from behind your desk and experience life. Live a little. It’s one of the best way to banish the creative burnout blues.

6. Identify your role in the insanity. I’ve already told you mine–I hate to turn down work, so I take on too much or too much of the wrong kinds of projects. It might be your fear of asking more questions or pushing back on direction that’s not clear. Analyze your last few crazy projects–what could you have done differently to make things less crazy?

7. Laugh. If you don’t, you’ll be crabby and crazy from your deadline. Boo hoo. So turn that frown upside down, call a funny friend, make fun of your worst concepts, crack a joke at your own expense. Creative relief, or at the very least, a little fun, is sure to follow.

How do you handle creative burnout when it happens? How do you prevent it? Enquiring minds want to know!

What you really mean when you say “I’m not creative”

Published December 1, 2010 Creative Life , Creative Writing , Creativity Coaching , Marketing , Social Commentary 3 Comments
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Over the years, I’ve heard countless people tell me that they are not creative. This always surprises and amuses me. What I’ve found is that this phrase is often used for other purposes. For example:

As a disclaimer: “I’m not creative, okay, but here’s my idea…”.

To soften a request: “I think we should use my headline instead of yours. I mean, I’m not creative, but I think it works better.”

To avoid work: “I can’t help you with this. I’m not creative.”

To sum up a vague objection: “I don’t like the bird graphic/the color purple/this story…but well, maybe it’s because I’m not creative.”

As a sarcastic jibe: “Yes, I saw your artwork/design/story. I’m not creative though, so maybe that’s why I don’t get it/like it/care.

To mask anxiety: “I’m a logistical person. I’m not creative. What do I know?”

So what does “being creative” really mean?
Everyone is creative. But “to be creative” means different things to different people. At its heart, creativity is about:

  • Curiosity: you want to know about people, places and things
  • Risk: you are willing to take a chance on things and ideas that are important to you; that includes speaking up and taking action when it matters
  • Reflection: thinking feeds ideas which feeds creativity
  • Patience: sometimes you have to wait for ideas to come and trust that they will come
  • Listening: sharing ideas requires a willingness to hear what someone else has to say without judgment
  • Passion: passion fuels inspiration which fuels creativity

Notice how I didn’t mention anything related to writing, artwork, painting, sculpture, design…all of those activities that are typically labeled as “creative.” Just because I’m a writer does that make me any more creative than a software developer who creates a cool app? Or a scientist who makes a major breakthrough in cancer research? Or a mom who finds a way to get her kids in the car without tantrums?

Exactly. Creativity is not something you either have or don’t have. We are all creative. Take a look at your own work and life and see all the ways, big and small, that you are creative. Use the six qualities above as a check list. You might be surprised at how creative you really are.

What does “being creative” mean to you?

No Halloween costume? No worries! All you need is sarcasm and a smile.

Published October 28, 2010 Creative Life , Creative Writing , Fun , Holidays 4 Comments
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You may remember the Lawn Lady, a gigantic lawn statue in front of a house in town. Last time we saw her, she was wearing a Cubs/Sox outfit. Now she’s in the spirit of the season in her Halloween costume. I have no idea what it is, but it sure is festive.

Speaking of which, what are you going to be for Halloween? Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who “don’t believe” in dressing up, where’s the fun in that! You don’t have any ideas, you say? No money for costumes? You’re allergic to craft projects? No problem! I’ve whipped up a few suggestions that are all 100% free, so you don’t need a crappy, overpriced store-bought costume or good craft genes. Here we go:

1. Be your boss. At work. What the heck, be your boss for the whole day! Get to work early, sit at his desk, take her meetings and calls, walk around the office muttering and bossing people around with inane orders like, “Fix those damn GPS reports!” and “Who scheduled the meeting I cancelled to discuss the meeting about last week’s meeting?” and “Powerpoints! We NEED MORE POWERPOINTS!” Eat other people’s lunches out of the fridge. Eat all the Halloween candy. You’re the boss, go for broke! Before you get fired.

2. Be your dog. Wear a spike collar and a retractable leash. Bark. Chase your co-workers. Bark. Chase your imaginary tail. Bark. Chase squirrels. Chase your tail again. Whine to go out. Whine to come in. Get a squeaky dog toy and squeak it every 5 seconds for 20 seconds. Whine to go out again. Pee on your neighbor’s lawn. Whine to come back in. No humping or butt sniffing, though. You want to have fun, not end up in jail.

3. Be your cat. Wear a collar with a little bell. Lick your hands. Repeatedly. Stare at people when they stare at you licking your hands. Lick your hands some more. Ignore people. Hiss at random and unexpected moments, like when people wish you a good morning or happy Halloween or when the cashier hands you your change. To really take it up a notch, cover yourself in cat nip. (Disclaimer: Author is not responsible for…whatever might happen to you.)

4. Be your kids. Talk like them, dress like them, whine like them. If they are young, be goofy. Wear their shoes on your hands, strap on a couple of diapers in odd places. Wrap a bib on your head. Wear six shirts at once and put your pants on backwards. If they are teenagers, it’s even easier–just be more of yourself than usual, they will be MORTIFIED.

If you’re a perfectionist go-getter, take it to the next level. Wear their clothes and shoes, keep their phone in one ear, music player in the other, plaster a sullen look on your face and say, “I’m bored” 100 times. Roll your eyes. Smirk. Roll your eyes again. Leave your dirty dishes in the sink and your dirty clothes on the floor in their room. Follow them around the house begging them to drive you places and give you money. Roll your eyes. It’s payback time!

5. Be extra enthusiastic. This one is super easy. All day long, be super positive, super happy, super perky, super fun. In fact, say the word “super” a lot. Other words that work: excellent, definitely, absolutely, you bet. End every sentence with a question: “It’s a beautiful day, right?” or, “Are you going to eat the rest of that pickle, isn’t it fabulous?”

Hand out compliments for everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. “Nice cuticles! Cute mole! Wow, what interesting ears you have.” Be positive and cheer on your fellow humans in every endeavor: “Way to walk down the bus aisle and not fall flat on your face!” Offer cheerful predictions at every turn: “That cigarette is going to kill you. But not today!”

If you make it to the end of the day without getting fired, sniffed, licked, Facebooked or smacked, well, bless your heart and have a happy Halloween.

Are you writing about things that matter? 5 questions to ask yourself

Published October 26, 2010 Creative Life , Creative Writing , Creativity Coaching 2 Comments
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The first time I read my writing in front of an audience–not just my class, but a venue full of strangers–I was 26 years old and I was terrified. I was in my first graduate course of my first semester at Columbia College Chicago, and it was required that all students read from their work at open mic readings sponsored by the department. Our professor said only this: If you’re not scared before the reading, then you haven’t picked the right material.

I was just starting my MFA studies, so I was confused. The right material? I was lucky I had any material. But after I read my work in public a few times, I began to understand. When I chose material that I felt was a “sure thing,” the audience response was…polite. When I chose material I felt uncertain about–maybe I had gone somewhere deep, taken a risk, hit a truth on the head–the audience response was immediate. Electric. People sat up straighter. Leaned in. The applause was genuine. People sought me out afterward, asked questions, shared their stories. That was the right material.

So how do you know whether you’re working on the right material, or merely skimming the surface? If you really want to know, ask yourself:

Are you scared? If you feel a tingle of fear, anger, resistance or any other strong emotion, you’re on the right track. Be brave. Go for it. You can do this.

Will someone be mad at you? Good. That means you’re not playing the people-pleaser, you’re digging into hard truths and reality. When I was 12 and going through my existentialist phase of writing, my mom used to wail, “Why can’t you ever write about happy things?” You can write happy stories about unicorns and rainbows. But if you want to write real, deep, authentic work…you have to take a chance that not everyone is going to love what you have to say.

Is it forbidden? Explore it creatively. Secrets and lies fester in the dark. Shine a light on those negative spots so we can see what you see.

Are you terrified you’ll fail? Clearly you have something at stake that’s worth exploring. Ask yourself what “failure” looks like. What’s the worst that can happen? Write it down. Read it. Now burn it and get to work. You have to be willing to make a mess if you want to get to the good stuff. Creativity is a messy business. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.

Is the universe dropping hints? An old friend mentions a topic that you’ve been thinking about writing about. You see a newspaper article with a different angle on the same topic a few days later. Then you meet someone new who happens to be dealing with the same issue. If you find yourself toying with an idea and it keeps popping up all around you in unexpected places, your creative work is calling you.

If you find yourself distracted and avoiding your creative work, ask yourself: am I working on what really matters?

Writing process: How to get unstuck and have spanking clean toilets too

Published October 25, 2010 Creative Life , Creative Writing , Creativity Coaching , Freelance Writing , Work Life 4 Comments
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I have a book manuscript that I’ve dabbled with on and off since 2005. I recently cleared out my creative space and once again opened up the box with everything related to this project: a folder bulging with first drafts and revised drafts, research books, notes, email print-outs, three or four different outlines, story ideas, suggestions, schedules.

So many false starts, hopes, plans, dreams. All incomplete. Where to begin??? Like so many times before, I slapped the lid back on the box and shoved it back in its corner under my desk, out of sight but never out of mind.  My sense of failure was palpable.

Why can’t I finish this damn thing? Was it time to give it up? Had the moment to tell this story passed? I continued to berate myself as I threw in another load of laundry then headed upstairs to make dinner and clean the bathrooms, which is way more fun than feeling like a failure. I might not be able to finish this story, but by golly, my toilets will sparkle and I’ll make the best damn Hamburger Helper beef stroganoff ever!

The thing is, every time I return to this project, I get stuck right here. It didn’t help that I had some chapters in one computer file, others on a USB stick, still more on a disk, and multiple print-outs of copies and versions of drafts. I am organized in every aspect of my life, what the hell happened here? How would I know what was what? Where to start?

And then, shortly after the family was full of stroganoff, the toilets were sparkling, kids were in bed, and I was just about to overindulge in chocolate, I had an epiphany:

I could start over.

I sat up straight on the couch and put my chocolate down. Who said I have to try to put the pieces together from the way I saw this story five years ago? I always knew what the problem was: my story needed a skeleton to hang on, but every time I went back to the pieces, I was forcing the pieces to fit a structure that wasn’t working. Isn’t that the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result every time?

Yep, I’ve been driving myself crazy. But just like that, I gave myself permission to try a new structure. It seemed so simple, but I guess I had been so focused on making the square peg fit the round hole, I didn’t think to look for a new peg.

So, I’m starting fresh. I’m actually pretty excited about it, because I feel like I have a new skeleton that can work. I will pull details and scenes from the 200+ pages I’ve already written when and where it makes sense. That might sound depressing to some who aren’t used to the writing process, but sometimes you have to write a lot to find out what you have to say and the best way to say it.

If you’re stuck, consider clearing out your creative work space to make room for new ideas. Spend time in your creative space. Look at your old drafts. Don’t force  yourself to solve any problems. Try not to berate yourself. Read. Think. Ponder. Simmer. Just show up every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes, and see what happens.

As for my book, I don’t know if this new insight will solve everything. I hope I will finish this damn thing once and for all. Mostly, I feel pretty good. I’m trying. I’m writing again.

10 rules of brainstorming: How to make it work for you

Published October 20, 2010 Business , Creative Life , Creative Parenting , Creativity Coaching , Marketing 4 Comments
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Whether you are trying to solve a problem, generate new ideas or clarify your thoughts, nothing works better than a good old-fashioned brainstorm session. Creative professionals use brainstorming to generate innovative ideas and creative approaches to market our clients’ products and solutions, as well as to solve problems they may have such as lack of brand awareness (“Company A? Never heard of ‘em.”) or damage control (“The last version of Widget A caught on fire. Widget B won’t.”)

But anyone can use brainstorming to develop strong creative ideas faster and more efficiently. Heck, I brainstorm at home with my kids! But it’s important to set some ground rules to make your brainstorming session productive:

1. Understand your team. See each person in the brainstorm as a unique, creative individual. A junior-level staff member may not have found his or her voice yet or feel comfortable expressing it–or expresses it too much. Another executive may not be comfortable in the nebulous land of ideas. When you understand where they are in the process, you can tailor the brainstorm session to better fit your team.

2. Have a plan. Brainstorming without a plan is like trying to build a skyscraper without a blueprint. It can be a detailed creative brief, a memo or an email articulating your objectives. Distribute the plan at least 24 hours prior to your brainstorming session so everyone has a chance to read it, digest it and start simmering on it. They’ll come to the brainstorming session prepared and hopefully ready to start bouncing ideas around.

3. Meet in a dedicated space. I’ve brainstormed in airports, pubs, on the phone, in my basement, in coffee shops–but not everyone is comfortable throwing out ideas at all, let alone in public spaces. A room with a door can lessen distractions and make your team feel safer to go out on the creative ledge.  

4. Set a time limit. An hour is plenty of time in my book, but a deadline adds necessary pressure to keep things moving. (Creative people, for example, can chat forever about ideas. At some point, we have to shut up and actually do the work instead of just talking about the work.) When the time is up, review the results and your objectives, give people time to regroup, then set up another brainstorm if necessary. 

5. Moderate. Designate a moderator who will keep the discussion on track. The moderator should also make sure everyone has a chance to participate, inviting quiet members to speak and asking chatty folks to hold up and let someone else talk for a while.

6. Keep it positive. Establish up front that there will be no criticism of ideas. Ban the words “no” and ”can’t.” Brainstorming is about generating ideas. The second you start ripping those ideas apart or saying no, people shut down. You will become the teacher in high school who shot down their dreams of being a creative in the first place. You don’t want to be the dream killer. You want to be the dream builder. Saying no kills the spirit of the brainstorm. 

Remember, you are working in the land of ideas and creativity where everything is subjective and there is no clear right or wrong way to go. Even if you know an idea is not quite right, find some aspect of it that is working–is it different from what competitors are doing? Does it explore an issue in a new way? This can lead the whole group down a new path of thinking.

7. Get silly, get inspired.  Brainstorming is about generating new ideas and ways of looking at things, so don’t be afraid to add some silliness or props that help get your creative juices flowing. That’s why a lot of creative folks keep interesting, fun things around their creative spaces. One art director I know keeps a collection of robots in his cubicle. A writer friend has puppets on her desk while another artist friends displays found objects from nature in her office.

I’ve sat in on very corporate brainstorm sessions that were like going to church–hushed tones, only senior level people get to speak and everyone else just sings their praises. This is not brainstorming, this is corporate bullshit. Remember: brainstorming = fun.

8. Write it all down. White board, chalk board, poster board, whatever you’ve got, write it all down. If things get off track or you get stuck, you can retrace the evolution of your ideas and regain your focus or see if anything fresh pops up.

9. The first idea is not always the best idea. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in 20 years of being in the creative business, it’s that the first idea is often the one that just barely scratches the surface. You have to dig deeper and give people time to unearth what’s below the surface. Often the first few ideas act as stepping stones to the idea that ends up being “The One.” It’s a team effort. It’s an evolution. Wait for it.

10. Be a kind voice of creative reason. I once had a very wise boss who always said, “Sometimes, we have to save them [clients, managers, fill in the blank] from themselves.” I agree–as long as you do it in a way that leaves everyone’s dignity intact and keeps the pipeline of ideas open so everyone feel like they are creative and actively contributing. That is the true spirit of brainstorming.

Please don’t feed the demons

Published October 15, 2010 Creative Families , Creative Life , Creative Parenting , Creativity Coaching , Essays , Social Commentary 2 Comments
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Confession: I have a demon. I was reminded of it as I watched a new E! series, “What’s Eating You: True stories about food, fear and obsession.”  The first episode features two 20-something girls suffering from anorexia. The cameras followed them through their lives, therapy sessions, as well as  interactions at home and work.

Warning: Watching a show like this is not like watching the old “After School Specials“ some may remember from the 70′s and 80′s. It’s less scripted, more raw and real. Viewer discretion is advised.

It was devastating to watch one girl being told she “didn’t have to come to work anymore” as a dancer because she had failed to get the help she needed–the breaking point was when a customer complained that she was “disturbing” to look at. Her body fat was a mere 8%–normal for her age is 18-25%.

As the second girl sat stone-faced in a therapy session, refusing to come out from behind her Hoover dam holding back gallons of raw emotion, my throat closed up and I thought, I know exactly what that feels like. I flashed back to adolescence and the late teens/early 20′s, that time when everyone says you have your whole life ahead of you, only it didn’t feel like it. Not one little bit.

We all have our personal demons.
In 1983, when I first faced mine, there were no words for my demon, let alone reality TV shows about it. Only a handful of people outside of my family knew. People didn’t speak openly about their demons then. At least, not at my house. Even now, I can’t bring myself to tell you specifics.

While my demon was not anorexia, it was a coping mechanism that I used to relieve emotional pain, to escape from an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and deep sadness that made my bones ache. It was not acceptable to be anything less than happy or perfect growing up and I was really, really good at pretending for a very long time.

My family didn’t know what to do, so they did nothing. Therapy was not as common then as it is now, at least not in my Midwestern community. Our family prided ourselves on being stoic and self-reliant. No better “therapy” than pulling yourself up by your  bootstraps. Except…I’d lost my boots. 

When I saw my own pain from years ago reflected in the eyes and faces of these girls as they struggled with their “affliction,” I wondered how seeing a show like this could have helped me back then. How it could have helped a lot of people. While some may argue that programs like this could influence, say, a young girl to consider anorexia. I say the seeds of that demon were already there.

Demons thrive in darkness, pain and secrecy. Programs like this turn the lights on so demons can’t hide anymore. Watching others struggle, we understand more and judge less. We see their pain. Hopefully, we learn to spot the first signs of demons in our loved ones and in ourselves so we can fight them sooner, harder. Demons can’t thrive  in truth and light and love. Wish the same were true of cockroaches and mold.

Are you feeding the demon?
But it’s never too late. One therapist on the show pointed out to a mother how she had inadvertently passed down a pattern of self-criticism to her daughters. She was feeding the demon and she didn’t even know it. It reminded me that I too must be vigilant. I must pay attention and listen closely to protect my children from…me. They will have demons of their own to contend with in life.

As for me, life did get better. It took time. I got help. I learned about boundaries and what I could control and what I couldn’t. Every challenge I survived taught me that there is light at the end of every tunnel. I grew up, I moved out. I remember my first night alone in my very own apartment. In the quiet, I could hear my heart healing.

If you’ve fought a demon and lived to tell about it, then you know what it’s like to claw your way back to the surface after being buried alive by raw emotion, dysfunction and fear, and to emerge–victorious, grateful–like the rescued miners in Chile, and say, I survived. It’s never easy, but demons can be tamed. They can be overcome.

Update (Oct. 18, 2010): Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project popped up on my radar as a relevant link for those who are interested. While the videos are primarily to give hope to gay and lesbian youth that life does get better after adolescence, when bullying is often at is peak, it’s inspirational to hear the stories of others who have been through it and emerged on the other side, strong and happy.

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