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Will Facebook end email as we know it?

Published November 17, 2010 Marketing , Social Commentary , Social Media 5 Comments
Tags: email is out, email marketing, email spam sucks, Facebook is in, Facebook messaging, hate email, what your email address says about you, will Facebook end email

Finally! Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced this week Facebook’s new messaging system, saying:

“It’s not e-mail. It handles e-mail in addition to Facebook messages, and Facebook IM, and other IM and SMS and all the other different ways that you want to communicate,” Zuckerberg said. “It’s true, people are going to be able to have Facebook.com e-mail addresses, but it’s not e-mail.”

Zuckerberg went on to say that he was “inspired by conversations with high schoolers who insisted to him that they use text messaging and Facebook messages in lieu of e-mail because ‘it’s too slow’ and ‘too formal.’ “ I haven’t been in high school in, um, awhile, but I second that emoticon!

Email is out. Facebook is in.
I say this as I delete 19 of 23 emails received today from an assortment of retailers, organizations and other businesses selling stuff. Three of those emails alone were from Toys ‘R’ Us; two came within 20 minutes of each other. (Maybe they should change their name to Emails ‘R’ Us.) The 20th email was a political joke and the other three were from friends confirming our dinner plans.

I have a Blackberry and I admit, I love the little red blinking light indicating I have a message. At least, I used to. Now it irritates as I get yet another sales ad. When I do receive an email from a friend, it’s a quaint surprise, like receiving a hand-written letter in the mail. Looks like it’s time for my quarterly unsubscribe fest.

Between Facebook ads and status updates, LinkedIn invitations and group discussions, Twitter streams, and catching up on blog reading, email has become like voice mail–I never check it and when I do, I skim and delete. Sometimes I forget which emails I responded to. Sometimes I miss important ones, like the one about my volunteer day at school being changed to a new day or a bill pay reminder. Oops. I am forgetting which emails I responded to and what I said when I did. I’m overwhelmed with status updates and messages and likes and comments. I tell my kids to make their backpacks and zip up their lunches. I can’t remember people’s names or whether it’s Tuesday or Wednesday. I know I’m 41 years old, but this is ridiculous!

Email has become one more “to do” on a very long to-do list. So yeah, even though Facebook messaging accounts may be a hyped up cousin of email, I’m ready for something new. Simple. Easy. It may change how we communicate at work, too. According to this article, independent research company Gartner says that:

“20 percent of workers will use social networks as their primary vehicle for business communications by 2014. According to Gartner, greater availability of social networking services, along with changing demographics and work styles, are responsible for the business move toward social networking services…social networks will begin to invade corporate email platforms…Contacts, calendars and tasks will be shared across both email and social networking platforms. Gartner predicts that by 2012 all contact lists, calendar items, and messaging clients on all smartphones will be “socially enabled applications.”

Will Facebook end email as we know it? Probably not. Plenty of people still use it, especially those who refuse to partake in the social media Kool-Aid. (Although the wrong email address can date you–see what yours is saying about you if you dare/care.) When email came around, it’s not like regular mail and voice mail disappeared. Those tools just became more quaint and old-fashioned–and taken over by junk mail and telemarketers. What remains to be seen is whether Facebook can keep businesses from taking over our social experience and turning it into one massive sales cesspool.

TV commercials as mirror: is this really who we are and what we’re about?

Published November 3, 2010 Brand , Fun , Marketing , Social Commentary 3 Comments
Tags: brand strategy, good TV commercials, HP eprinter, HP happy baby, marketing creative, marketing strategies, positive marketing, positive thinking, Windows Phone 7

How is technology changing society? Just look to marketing, especially TV commercials. Writers often write stories that reflect back what they see around them–prevalent attitudes, culture, changes, issues. Marketers do this too, but unlike writers who try to make a point, change our minds or get us talking and thinking differently, marketers (like me) are trying to sell you stuff. Some of the time, some of us get it right.

And then there are commercials like this one for the new Windows Phone 7.

The first time I saw it, it got my attention. The music was compelling and built up a great crescendo to match the action. The people were so distracted, I caught myself smirking. So true! So ironic! So sad! And so universal–we all know “someone” who is permanently attached to their phone in an unhealthy way. We’re a distracted nation.

Microsoft took that reality and exaggerated the truth even further, showing people crashing into each other, sitting on each other, picking up a phone out of a urinal (yuck). We’re all tripping, falling, ignoring each other, tuning out of our lives and the people around us. The point Microsoft makes is..wow, what a nation of clumsy distracted idiots we are! Look how stupid we look!

Uh huh. And you want me to buy WHAT?

The cheapest shot of all was the saccharine sweet little girl at the end, which is meant to strike fear and guilt in the hearts of parents and grandparents everywhere because we are clearly ruining the next generation. And the solution to all of this guilt, clumsiness, distraction and stupidity?

Why, it’s Windows Phone 7! The phone that will save us (and our children!) from our phones and ourselves. That’s a tall order for a mobile phone. It must have super powers. Except we’re not sure how the Windows Phone 7 will save us because no proof is provided–no benefits, no super powers, no unique design, no competitive advantages.

Does this mean there are none? After all, Windows Phone 7 is…a phone. We will still be just as likely to trip, fall, walk into someone, sit on someone or drive off the road while using this phone as much as any other. I’m not sure if anyone would dive into the urinal to get this phone–an iPhone, maybe.

In my humble opinion, this is a great example of how NOT to market to people. Sure, it’s funny to watch people do stupid things. But in the end, Microsoft is pointing out our flaws. Mocking us. And trying to sell us something on top of it.

Compare this to the HP ePrinter Happy Baby commercial.

Disclaimer: I have kids, but I’m a marketer, so by default, I’m immune to babies, puppies, kittens and Hallmark commercials. But I like this ad because:

1. It’s a simple, well-executed concept. The idea is clearly embedded in our minds through visuals and simple dialogue: send your “baby” to the printer anywhere, right from your phone. I say “baby” in quotes because some people’s “babies’ are their cars, their dogs or their puppet collection. Way to make it universal! This is a short, well-told story. As we say in fiction, “Show don’t tell.” This commercial nailed it.

2. It surprised and intrigued me. Very few things surprise me anymore, but the first time I saw this commercial, I stopped what I was doing. Why? The baby is cute but in a regular kid way, not the stereotypical Gerber baby way. The imagery consisted of simple visuals–baby and road scenes–juxtaposed in an unexpected way. Love that. It’s creative without trying too hard.

3. The tune set the right tone. Many of the YouTube commenters complained about the music. You’ll never please all the people all the time, but as far as I’m concerned, the music has just the right upbeat tempo for the action and adds just the right touch of whimsy.

4. It’s a positive reflection of…me! Unlike Windows Phone 7, this commercial says “technology” and “innovation”without making me feel like a doofus in the process. Gold star, HP!

I’m a big proponent of keeping things positive–especially in marketing. It requires strategic thinking, diplomacy, creativity and above all, common sense. If you want me to love your brand and buy your product, don’t show me what an idiot I am. Show me how your brand fits me and how will it make my life better. You really can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Honey.

Please don’t feed the demons

Published October 15, 2010 Creative Families , Creative Life , Creative Parenting , Creativity Coaching , Essays , Social Commentary 2 Comments
Tags: anorexia, coping with addiction, dealing with personal tragedy, overcoming adversity, parenting, personal demons, rescued miners in Chile, struggling with addiction, TV shows about anorexia

Confession: I have a demon. I was reminded of it as I watched a new E! series, “What’s Eating You: True stories about food, fear and obsession.” The first episode features two 20-something girls suffering from anorexia. The cameras followed them through their lives, therapy sessions, as well as interactions at home and work.

Warning: Watching a show like this is not like watching the old “After School Specials“ some may remember from the 70′s and 80′s. It’s less scripted, more raw and real. Viewer discretion is advised.

It was devastating to watch one girl being told she “didn’t have to come to work anymore” as a dancer because she had failed to get the help she needed–the breaking point was when a customer complained that she was “disturbing” to look at. Her body fat was a mere 8%–normal for her age is 18-25%.

As the second girl sat stone-faced in a therapy session, refusing to come out from behind her Hoover dam holding back gallons of raw emotion, my throat closed up and I thought, I know exactly what that feels like. I flashed back to adolescence and the late teens/early 20′s, that time when everyone says you have your whole life ahead of you, only it didn’t feel like it. Not one little bit.

We all have our personal demons.
In 1983, when I first faced mine, there were no words for my demon, let alone reality TV shows about it. Only a handful of people outside of my family knew. People didn’t speak openly about their demons then. At least, not at my house. Even now, I can’t bring myself to tell you specifics.

While my demon was not anorexia, it was a coping mechanism that I used to relieve emotional pain, to escape from an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and deep sadness that made my bones ache. It was not acceptable to be anything less than happy or perfect growing up and I was really, really good at pretending for a very long time.

My family didn’t know what to do, so they did nothing. Therapy was not as common then as it is now, at least not in my Midwestern community. Our family prided ourselves on being stoic and self-reliant. No better “therapy” than pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. Except…I’d lost my boots.

When I saw my own pain from years ago reflected in the eyes and faces of these girls as they struggled with their “affliction,” I wondered how seeing a show like this could have helped me back then. How it could have helped a lot of people. While some may argue that programs like this could influence, say, a young girl to consider anorexia. I say the seeds of that demon were already there.

Demons thrive in darkness, pain and secrecy. Programs like this turn the lights on so demons can’t hide anymore. Watching others struggle, we understand more and judge less. We see their pain. Hopefully, we learn to spot the first signs of demons in our loved ones and in ourselves so we can fight them sooner, harder. Demons can’t thrive in truth and light and love. Wish the same were true of cockroaches and mold.

Are you feeding the demon?
But it’s never too late. One therapist on the show pointed out to a mother how she had inadvertently passed down a pattern of self-criticism to her daughters. She was feeding the demon and she didn’t even know it. It reminded me that I too must be vigilant. I must pay attention and listen closely to protect my children from…me. They will have demons of their own to contend with in life.

As for me, life did get better. It took time. I got help. I learned about boundaries and what I could control and what I couldn’t. Every challenge I survived taught me that there is light at the end of every tunnel. I grew up, I moved out. I remember my first night alone in my very own apartment. In the quiet, I could hear my heart healing.

If you’ve fought a demon and lived to tell about it, then you know what it’s like to claw your way back to the surface after being buried alive by raw emotion, dysfunction and fear, and to emerge–victorious, grateful–like the rescued miners in Chile, and say, I survived. It’s never easy, but demons can be tamed. They can be overcome.

Update (Oct. 18, 2010): Dan Savage’s It Gets Better Project popped up on my radar as a relevant link for those who are interested. While the videos are primarily to give hope to gay and lesbian youth that life does get better after adolescence, when bullying is often at is peak, it’s inspirational to hear the stories of others who have been through it and emerged on the other side, strong and happy.

The 8 most annoying Facebook personalities

Published October 13, 2010 Creative Life , Fun , Social Commentary , Social Media 9 Comments
Tags: bad Facebook behavior, Facebook, Facebook guidelines, social media do's and don'ts

Recently I took an informal survey of my Facebook friends to see what they thought were the best and worst things about Facebook. The stories and insights that emerged were fascinating, revealing and too good not to share. Today, we focus on the most annoying. (Of course we all know that WE don’t do these things, but we probably all have a few of them lurking in our friend list.)

Who, me?

The Instigator. This is the person who likes to stir up trouble by posting argumentative comments, strong political or religious opinions, or bashing people who annoy them. I once watched a couple break up via Facebook–complete with status updates ripping each other to pieces and giving everyone enough detail in the comments to know who cheated on who, who threw the plastic chair first, who had a drug problem, who needed to grow up and act their age – ?

It was like a soap opera that I couldn’t stop watching. Thankfully, they both deleted the majority of posts later that day and took it offline. Please, if you’re breaking up or pissed off at something someone else said, pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Don’t subject the rest of us to the bitterness.

Game Addict. The consensus was clear: NO MORE fish or mafia wars or Farkle scores or farm animal stories (unless they were funny and sarcastic).

Photo Upchucker. “Florence just uploaded 577 new photos of the kids’ clog dancing class!” I’m sorry, but I can’t even look at that many photos of my own kids let alone someone else’s, especially of clog dancing (no offense, clog dancers).

This is also the person who posts photo upchucks of you–tagged!–so that the lovely photo of you with three chins or a mouthful of food and one eye half-shut is right there, front and center, on your photo page.

The Drama Queen. Another day, another drama. You’ll see constant updates that are all about the drama at work, the drama at home, the drama with the kids. One wife posted that her young husband was going to the ER for what he thought was a heart attack. 28 comments and two hours later, turns out he had indigestion and everything was fine.

Later she posted that they went out for dinner and a movie–talk about anticlimactic. Maybe…hold off on the status update until you have more facts; if your husband is having a heart attack, why the hell are you on Facebook???

The Hypochondriac. It’s one thing to have a casual acquaintance who is a hypochondriac. It’s quite another to be Facebook friends with him or her and bear witness to every bee sting, garden injury, torn ligament, achy toenail and virus to end all viruses–all in one week. I’m sorry, but if you start sounding like one of my elderly aunts grousing about your aches and pains, I’m gonna have to hide your achy breaky arse.

The Narcissist. If you never comment on anyone else’s posts, never join the conversation unless it’s about you, and only post things about yourself, hello Narcissist!. If you’re an ER doc or attorney or president of a company and just decided to run for mayor of your town, hey, that’s great, but posts like, “Just saved another life today!” or “The limo was late, AGAIN” or “I hate when the maid makes my bed wrong!” tend to alienate us regular people. What fun is it comment on THAT (unless you know them well enough to make fun of them).

The Facebook-aholic: You know who you are. You post more than 6 times a day–interesting links, funny videos, photos, status update quips, quotes, you name it, you post it. Some of it is interesting, but after a while, people start wondering if you have a life.

The Hypochondriac Narcissist with Photo Upchuck Tendencies: Enough said.

Next time, I’ll share the positive aspects of Facebook from my independent survey. In the meantime, feel free to share your favorite Facebook personalities, good or bad.

Lessons from Oprah: 7 Reasons Why Reality TV is Good for You

Published September 29, 2010 Creative Life , Essays , Fun , Social Commentary 3 Comments
Tags: Dr. Phil, is reality TV good for you, Jersey Shore, Oprah, reality TV, Snooki, Teen Moms, The Real Housewives, The Situation, watching reality TV

Recently I was talking to a couple of college interns at work and happened to mention something I’d seen on MTV’s Jersey Shore the previous night. Before I could even finish, all three of them released a collective gasp. “YOU watch Jersey SHORE?” I nodded. They giggled as if I’d just told them I dressed like a chicken at parties on weekends to supplement my marketing gig. Hilarious how hilarious I’ve become without trying.

A friend put this into context for me: you have to keep up with current pop culture so that when you make references, you sound credible and current. But this is not that. I’m talking about the unspoken shame in admitting that you watch reality TV or like pop music.

While I occasionally tune in to NPR while driving, I prefer to listen to pop music. It wakes me up, OK? And sure, I watch documentaries on war and infrastructure. I dig Masterpiece Theater. But I also dabble in Dr. Phil and Teen Mom and Hoarders. I liked VH1′s Rock of Love. (Season 1 was my favorite.) And Oprah too–I was almost on Oprah, too. More on that soon.

So, for all of you out there who deem reality TV, talk shows and other stuff as beneath you, I offer 7 unscientific reasons why watching reality TV is good for you and why you should indulge from time to time:

1. You’ll sound less old. If you say, “What’s a Snooki?” or “What’s ‘The Situation‘,” you sound old. Now, maybe you are old and don’t mind admitting that you have no idea what “the kids” are watching these days. Me? I know I’m getting old. I see it in my reflection every day. I don’t need to be reminded of it every time someone mentions a TV show in conversation and I’m clueless. If you feel out of the loop on a daily basis in conversations, plop yourself in front of a reality TV channel and QUICK.

2. Get more street cred. Media viewing habits are so fragmented that it often seems as if we’re all watching something different. It’s nice to know what programs people are referring to, even if you don’t watch every single episode. It’s common ground in increasingly uncommon times. And you look like you are keeping up with the times and the Kardashians.

Plus, it’s fun surprising people. Once a new acquaintance made a comment about watching “LA Ink” and shyly said, “Oh, you probably don’t know what I’m talking about.” When I said I watched the show, knew who Kat Von D was and that I also had several tattoos, the conversation expanded and we went from acquaintance to friend in no time flat. You are what you watch. And so are your friends.

3. Be less shell-shocked by the “real world” when you see it. When I see people behaving badly or acting strangely or doing something some might consider “unconventional” out in the “real” real world, it’s not as shocking. I’ve probably already seen it or something like it on reality TV. I’ve had time to process my thoughts about “abnormal” behavior so it saves me time out in the real world. Now that’s efficient!

Confession: I like to say that I watch reality TV because I’m in marketing, and that’s partly true. I need to stay on top of what people are watching, not watching, what they’re saying, what’s hot, what’s not, so that I don’t write or pitch an idea that’s…old, out of touch or just not in sync with today’s world or my audience. It’s not for me. It’s for the good of the brands I represent. That’s…mostly true. Mostly, I enjoy it. And I don’t want to look old.

4. Reality TV is a self-esteem boost and stress relief. I can’t tell you how many times watching Super Nanny made me feel better about my shortcomings as a mom. And just knowing that there is a wife out in the world who bottles deer piss for her husband’s side business made me feel better about being my household’s primary dog pooper scooper.

Or how trying to watch the Real Housewives of any city took my mind off of the myriad things I worry about on a daily basis, from global warming to Did I sign that field trip permission slip? to potential layoffs at work down to, crap, am I wearing two different earrings AGAIN?, which leads to, Am I getting Alzheimer’s? Watching CNN gives me more things to worry about. Maybe this makes me a dunderhead, but as my design friend Kathy would say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not apologizing.”

5. Reality TV provides many teachable moments for kids. While we all agree some shows are not for kids, some have provided terrific opportunities for me to talk to my kids about things that matter. MTV’s Teen Moms is a perfect example. The girls on the show are often struggling to grow up themselves let alone raise a baby, sometimes without the support of the babies’ fathers or their families.

It’s a realistic, not glamorous, portrayal of real life. It’s made me realize what young teen moms really go through. Not everyone is open to having those types of conversations with their kids, but for those of us who are, this makes it easier to have conversations that otherwise might be forced or not had at all.

6. It’s guilt-free, budget-friendly fun. There’s not much to laugh about in today’s economy and I’m a busy working mom with two kids, no time and a lot of laundry, so I take my fun where I can get it. Reality TV is a perfectly safe, inexpensive outlet that comes with my cable package, doesn’t require a sitter and won’t ruin my lungs or my liver, make me hungover or make my butt bigger (as long as I don’t eat M&M’s while watching it).

Unless you count how sheepish I am when Hubby catches me watching “Wife Swap” again and I say, “What?!? I’m watching it for work,” and he says, “Uh huh.” Then I remind him of his penchant for watching WWE and there is a moment of silence before he asks if I want some M&Ms. Speaking of Hubby…

7. Reality TV gives us something to talk about. Earlier this year, I took Hubby to the Oprah show. It was a surprise he would never in a million years guess let alone want. But early on in our relationship, he always liked to make our dates a surprise. So, competitive as I am, I have to spend the rest of our married life together trying to top him.

His birthday happens to be on the same day as Oprah’s and she was giving away tickets to people who shared her birthday. I wrote an essay about how I was going to blindfold him and drive him downtown early that morning and surprise him with tickets to the show. At the last minute, the producers asked if they could film the surprise and feature us on the show in a brief segment.

I was scrambling to make arrangements for my kids, so it didn’t dawn on me what would be entailed until the night before the show as I sat on my bed trying to videotape myself saying the loose script they had provided me with only hours earlier, at which time I panicked when I realized that:

A. I was going to need A LOT of makeup and I talk like a typical “Da Bears” Chicagoan (eek!)
B. This will be seen live by the ENTIRE WORLD including everyone I know (eek!)
C. My husband is NOT an Oprah fan and will NEVER speak to me again (ruh roh)
D. My husband is going to sit on Oprah’s stage during a LIVE show and look exactly like he does when I make him go shopping for pants: depressed, pained, trapped. (Oprah was gonna be pissed!)

Reality TV is a lot harder than it looks. Luckily, they called later that night to cancel our segment, replacing it with a “No texting and driving” one. We still got to go to the show and even received gift certificates for 4 free nights at a Hilton Hotel. Even though we didn’t appear on stage, I got so much out of that brush with reality TV’s 15 minutes of fame–between the clandestine calls to family and friends, hilarious suppositions about Hubby’s potential reaction, furtive Facebook status updates (“It’s 5am, I’m in Dunkin Donuts drive-thru and Hubby is blindfolded. Hope they don’t call the cops on me.”), it was a bright, exciting moment in an otherwise long, dark, freezing cold January in Chicago.

And if that isn’t a good thing, I don’t know what is.

Grateful: Living each day as a thank you

Published September 22, 2010 Creative Families , Creative Life , Creative Parenting , Social Commentary 2 Comments
Tags: grateful kids, grateful living, gratitude, Living Life as a Thank You, positive thinking, Thanksgiving

I’ve been reading a new book that I wanted to tell you about. It’s called “Living life as a thank you: The transformative power of daily gratitude.” It’s about embracing gratitude in life wherever you can get it. With the economy still seemingly in free fall and bad news all around, I can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed by it all. So when I saw this little book on the store shelf, it struck me as something I needed to read. Now.

It’s a quick read, and it inspired me to try to think of 10 things I’m grateful for every night. I’ve added this as a new question for my kids at the dinner table, too, to share one thing they are grateful for. Why wait for Thanksgiving, right?

Honestly, it’s harder than I thought it would be. I’ve been focusing so much on the negative things going on that I’ve overlooked so much of the good things right in front of my face. My biggest takeaway is that it’s easier to be whiny than grateful, and I have a lot to be grateful for, which I seem to take for granted when I don’t make an effort to consciously think about it.

After trying this for two weeks, I can honestly say that I feel happier than I have in awhile, even after I read yet another dire news report on the state of the economy or world affairs. So here are 10 things that I’m grateful for today:

My relative’s cancer is in remission.
My children are relatively healthy, happy kids.
Being married to my best friend.
A roof over my head and food on the table.
Knowing that I am loved and accepted for who I am by the people who matter.
My friendships.
My dogs.
Laughter.
Books. I am so very grateful for books.
My recent ladies-only trip to Vegas. Wish I could say more on that one, but, you know, what happens in Vegas…

How about you? What are you grateful for? Is it hard to remember to be grateful?

How are your words disabling you?

Published August 25, 2010 Business , Creative Life , Creative Parenting , Creative Writing , Creativity Coaching , Kids , Social Commentary , Work Life 8 Comments
Tags: adversity, Aimee Mullins, dealing with change, disabled, disabling words, Happiness Project, power of words, powerful words, TED, The opportunity of adversity

The other day I was feeling blue and typed these words into Google: “feel like you’ve lost your way.” Curiously, one of the first search results was the Happiness Project; the author wrote a book and blog about a year she spent testing all the advice, theories and conventional wisdom about how to be happy.

I skimmed the article–it was a little too happy for me–and scrolled down to the comments to see how people reacted. One commenter posted a link to Aimee Mullins’ speech, ”The opportunity of adversity“ on TED. (If you aren’t familiar with TED, you might find this article from FastCompany interesting.)

Curious, I clicked. Ms. Mullins, who had to have both legs amputated below the knees when she was an infant, discusses the dictionary definition of “disabled.” The writer in me immediately recoiled–starting with a dictionary definition is a standard way to begin a term paper, but writers are encouraged to think more creatively.

But when the screen goes black and the defining words for “disabled” pop up one at a time in white type, it’s quickly forgotten. She reads each word aloud–every sad, miserable word. I feel the weight of each word bearing down on me even though I am not physically “disabled.”

Mullins says that when she repeated this definition to a friend, her voice cracked in the middle and she had to stop. Despite all of her tremendous accomplishments–model, actress, paralympic athlete, truly inspiring human being–the negative definition of “disabled” broke her.

This is the power of words.

This is why I take my job as a writer seriously. Words can change the way people think. Words can persuade, inform, enlighten, but they can also hurt, destroy, maim, define…disable. They are more powerful than weapons. That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is wrong. Words can and do hurt.

But wait, there’s more. Mullins redefines “disabled” as a crushed spirit. She literally rewrites the definition of “disabled.” When I hear this, I begin to cry. And I am not a crier. When I repeat this story to Hubby, I tear up again. He looks at me strangely–are you…crying???

This is the power of words.

Words can crush your spirit. And there is nothing more sorrowful in my mind. OK, sure, death sucks. But as a friend of mine once said in her sage way, “We all have to die someday. Can’t hang around forever.” With death, life is over. But how long can you live with a crushed spirit? How long would you want to? What kind of life is that? I imagine it’s like living with Alzheimer’s. You are a shadow of the person you used to be or could be. You are never whole again. You are never the same. You are damaged. Hurt. Disabled.

Mullins also posits that adversity gives us a sense of ourselves, that it’s a part of life rather than something that we need to just get through, emerging unscathed on the other side. She suggests that adversity is “change you haven’t gotten used to yet.” Hence, “the opportunity of adversity.”

This is the power of words. A shift in thinking. A different way of looking at the world, at change. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this yet. But it has made me rethink how I “disable” myself and those around me, often unintentionally. I resolved to work on three things:

Use less “disabling” words. I’ve tried to remember to say thank-you more and share positive feedback. It’s easy and tempting to harp on what’s wrong rather than focus on what’s right. For example, I sent Hubby an email that just said “have a nice day” instead of the usual to-do list. I told a friend who always shows grace under pressure how much I admired her strength and courage. I am trying to remember to say something nice to myself, too, but that one is harder.

Examine unintentional “disabling” actions. School starts this week and I remembered how crushed my son was last year when one of his B grades slipped back to a C in a class he had worked very hard to improve. Hubby and I always told both kids that letter grades don’t matter; it’s the effort and learning that count. But our reward system–$5 for A’s, $3 for B’s, nothing for C’s–was negating our words.

I told my kids that effective immediately, we would reward them for effort, not specific letter grades. My daughter shrugged, but my son visibly relaxed; a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. I am on the lookout for other ways I may be disabling someone, unintentional as it may be.

Stop disabling myself. I am my own worst enemy. I take on too much work. I multi-task to the nth degree. I burn myself out. So this week I cut myself some slack. I asked for help at work. I came home one night exhausted and burnt out and put myself to bed instead of forcing myself to continue working on a project that I was stuck on.

Another night, I gave myself permission to snuggle with my kids instead of going to the gym because “I should.” On a Saturday, which I might normally spend cleaning, I stocked up on healthy food and went to the gym to reward myself instead of eating chocolate. (Huge for me, by the way. I should own stock in Hershey’s.)

I feel better today than I did when I first Googled “feel like you’ve lost your way.” Maybe I didn’t lose it so much as disable myself from seeing it. I think I’m on the right path again.

How do you unintentionally “disable” yourself or someone else? What can you do to embrace adversity and see it as opportunity or “the change you haven’t gotten used to yet?”

Think like an entrepreneur no matter what your employment status

Published August 11, 2010 Business , Creative Life , Marketing , Social Commentary , Work Life 2 Comments
Tags: bored at work, business leadership, creative work, entrepreneurial thinking, innovation, innovative thinking, owning a business, starting a business, think like an entrepreneur

You don’t have to be self-employed to think like an entrepreneur. In fact, I’d argue that everyone should adopt the mindset of an entrepreneur in today’s world. It’s the best way to stay sharp, stay sane, and stay or get employed.

So how does an entrepreneur think, exactly? I can’t speak for all of them, but after managing two businesses of my own and talking with countless other business owners over the years, here are the 12 hallmarks that pop up most frequently in conversation:

Seek out opportunity. Entrepreneurs are hungry for new opportunities–you never know where your next lead or big idea will come from. But you have to put yourself out there to find them. Join new professional or social groups. Make friends with your friends’ friends. Ask questions and really listen to the answers. The more people you know and situations you put yourself in, the more likely you will be in the right place at the right time.

Look for problems to solve. How many times do you read about an entrepreneur who created a product out of a need or problem that they noticed and decided to solve? Start paying attention to the people and problems around you at home or the office. Are there any Continue reading ‘Think like an entrepreneur no matter what your employment status’

The most powerful word in the world

Published July 28, 2010 Copywriting , Creative Life , Creative Parenting , Creative Writing , Creativity Coaching , Social Commentary 4 Comments
Tags: be more creative, creative inspiration, creative rut, creativity, feeling stuck, imagination, lost your mojo, making decisions, most powerful word, powerful words, why, writer's block, writing

I love words. I tried to read the dictionary when I was 9 (yes, I was a big geek then too. I made it through the B’s.). My favorite board game, the only board game I will ever play, is Scrabble. I love how the right words strung together sounds like shimmering, cascading rhythms. And when those words move people to think or act? As MasterCard would say, Priceless!

So you can imagine that choosing the one, most powerful word was a challenging task indeed. It’s not “no.” It’s not “think,” or “me,” or “butt” as my kids had hoped. The most powerful word in the world is… Continue reading ‘The most powerful word in the world’

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