Recently I took an informal survey of my Facebook friends to see what they thought were the best and worst things about Facebook. The stories and insights that emerged were fascinating, revealing and too good not to share. Today, we focus on the most annoying. (Of course we all know that WE don’t do these things, but we probably all have a few of them lurking in our friend list.)
The Instigator. This is the person who likes to stir up trouble by posting argumentative comments, strong political or religious opinions, or bashing people who annoy them. I once watched a couple break up via Facebook–complete with status updates ripping each other to pieces and giving everyone enough detail in the comments to know who cheated on who, who threw the plastic chair first, who had a drug problem, who needed to grow up and act their age – ?
It was like a soap opera that I couldn’t stop watching. Thankfully, they both deleted the majority of posts later that day and took it offline. Please, if you’re breaking up or pissed off at something someone else said, pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Don’t subject the rest of us to the bitterness.
Game Addict. The consensus was clear: NO MORE fish or mafia wars or Farkle scores or farm animal stories (unless they were funny and sarcastic).
Photo Upchucker. “Florence just uploaded 577 new photos of the kids’ clog dancing class!” I’m sorry, but I can’t even look at that many photos of my own kids let alone someone else’s, especially of clog dancing (no offense, clog dancers).
This is also the person who posts photo upchucks of you–tagged!–so that the lovely photo of you with three chins or a mouthful of food and one eye half-shut is right there, front and center, on your photo page.
The Drama Queen. Another day, another drama. You’ll see constant updates that are all about the drama at work, the drama at home, the drama with the kids. One wife posted that her young husband was going to the ER for what he thought was a heart attack. 28 comments and two hours later, turns out he had indigestion and everything was fine.
Later she posted that they went out for dinner and a movie–talk about anticlimactic. Maybe…hold off on the status update until you have more facts; if your husband is having a heart attack, why the hell are you on Facebook???
The Hypochondriac. It’s one thing to have a casual acquaintance who is a hypochondriac. It’s quite another to be Facebook friends with him or her and bear witness to every bee sting, garden injury, torn ligament, achy toenail and virus to end all viruses–all in one week. I’m sorry, but if you start sounding like one of my elderly aunts grousing about your aches and pains, I’m gonna have to hide your achy breaky arse.
The Narcissist. If you never comment on anyone else’s posts, never join the conversation unless it’s about you, and only post things about yourself, hello Narcissist!. If you’re an ER doc or attorney or president of a company and just decided to run for mayor of your town, hey, that’s great, but posts like, “Just saved another life today!” or “The limo was late, AGAIN” or “I hate when the maid makes my bed wrong!” tend to alienate us regular people. What fun is it comment on THAT (unless you know them well enough to make fun of them).
The Facebook-aholic: You know who you are. You post more than 6 times a day–interesting links, funny videos, photos, status update quips, quotes, you name it, you post it. Some of it is interesting, but after a while, people start wondering if you have a life.
The Hypochondriac Narcissist with Photo Upchuck Tendencies: Enough said.
Next time, I’ll share the positive aspects of Facebook from my independent survey. In the meantime, feel free to share your favorite Facebook personalities, good or bad.