Nine New Taglines for the TSA
I am always grateful to government agencies, oil companies and politicians for giving lowly marketing copywriters like me more fodder to write about than I could ever conjure up on my own. That’s why I’m also grateful that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is providing “enhanced pat-downs” to ensure our safety during air travel in these times of heightened security risk.
I don’t know about you, but I feel infinitely safer from terrorism now that bladder cancer survivors won’t even think about sneaking suspicious liquids into their medical devices, all thanks to the trusty TSA.
To show my gratitude, I give you my top 9 picks for new TSA taglines:
2. Terrorist attack or cancer from the x-ray: You have a choice!
3. T-shirt slogan: “I was inspected by TSA Agent #24.”
4. TSA: Checking every American fat roll and muffin top with pride.
5. TSA: Have you had your grope today?
6. Limited-time only: No-fee pat-downs!
7. TSA: Get your own private screening.
8. TSA: Let our fingers do the walking!
9. Wow, these are friendly skies!
Of course, you could skip the flight and drive to your destination, but then you’d miss all the fun. So if you insist on being a party pooper, enjoy this Saturday Night Live video or follow the TSA’s mock Twitter account (special thanks to the Copywriter Underground for tweeting a link). And lastly, in all fairness, here is one blog post that highlights TSA agents’ real-life reactions to providing enhanced pat-downs, which confirms that TSA agents are people too, and no, they don’t get off on touching your man boobs.