Dear Bullies, Victims and Everyone Who Bears Witness

Elementary school pupil being bullied

All my friends are heathens, take it slow
Wait for them to ask you who you know
Please don’t make any sudden moves
You don’t know the half of the abuse
All my friends are heathens, take it slow
Wait for them to ask you who you know
Please don’t make any sudden moves
You don’t know the half of the abuse

Heathens |  21 Pilots

Dear Bullies:

I see you.

I know exactly who and what you are. I know you better than you know yourself. You may lack the social skills to interact with others. You may lack empathy. You may have been bullied yourself. And for whatever happened to you, I am truly sorry. But I will not tolerate what you are doing now to someone else.

I understand that underneath your ugly behavior is a sad, lonely, insecure, hurt person who is now lashing out at someone else because you don’t know or see any other way. Maybe you don’t know any better. Maybe you don’t care. You are so miserable with yourself and in more pain than you can even face or acknowledge that you feel the need to inflict that pain onto others. This is sad and pathetic. I see that. We ALL see that.

And we will not tolerate it anymore.

Continue reading “Dear Bullies, Victims and Everyone Who Bears Witness”

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For Moms

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I asked my kids for handwritten letters, the only gift I wanted for Mother’s Day. Best. Gifts. Ever.

This post goes out to anyone who has ever had a mom, is a mom, wants to be a mom, needed a mom, or has wanted to be a mom but never had the chance. I think moms are a misaligned, misunderstood bunch. We hear about tiger moms, helicopter moms, bad moms, absent moms, overprotective moms, soccer moms…there are even jeans named after us! Moms make headlines, too – like this now infamous mom berating her son during the Baltimore riot. I’ve read and heard a lot of commentary about this one, both positive and negative.

Enough. Enough I say.

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Simple Moments When Being a Mom is Simply Awesome

006Parenting is not an easy job, especially if you have a child who has challenges above and beyond the ‘normal’ struggles of daily life. Some days seem bleak. Sometimes you face a string of them and you wonder if you are truly up to the challenge. And then there are days like today.

Tonight I had an opportunity to put a smile on my teenage son’s face, after he faced many days in a row where smiling seemed beyond our reach. It was just the two of us, and I decided we needed a surprise. He needed to be surprised and I needed to be the one to deliver it. 🙂 It wasn’t anything big or expensive. It was simple. Easy. No stress.

We went to the gym.

Continue reading “Simple Moments When Being a Mom is Simply Awesome”

why you should commit a random act of kindness today

I went to dinner last night with my kids, ages 11 and 13. At the end of our meal, the waitress, a twenty-something girl, handed me our leftovers and my receipt. When I retrieved my credit card, I found a note tucked into the bill holder. It read: “Thank you so much, you have the nicest, most polite kids. Please enjoy dessert on me. Candace.” In our leftover bag was a box with two giant slices of chocolate cake. I shared the note with my kids and told them “Great job guys!” They just asked when they could have their cake. LOL

my awesome 'very polite' kids
my awesome ‘very polite’ kids

I can’t tell you how much this simple act of kindness meant to me. For a girl of this age – after her tip had already been received – to take the time to write this note, make this gesture, made my weekend. I have the BEST kids, of course, so I don’t need notes from strangers to point this out to me. Yes, they get on my nerves and do dopey stuff as kids do, but they are awesome people and I am so lucky to be their mom. So it’s a terrific feeling when others notice how special they are too. It makes me feel like no matter how many other things I f*ck up, at least I’m doing this one thing right (mostly), although I’m sure their shrink will tell me otherwise 20 years from now. 🙂

Continue reading “why you should commit a random act of kindness today”