Dealing with a Tough Situation? Recover Faster by Asking the Right Questions.

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Anyone who has ever been stuck in a bad relationship – whether it’s a marriage, a job, dysfunctional family, toxic friends – you know how crappy it feels. There are a million articles out there about how to identify these situations, seven signs of “fill in the blank.” I know. I read everything I can get my hands on. 🙂 And you can get lost in the why. Why did this happen to me? Why did ‘fill in the name” do this to me? Why did my brother die? Why does my child have a disability? Why am I stuck? Why am I here?

This is an important part of the recovery process, don’t get me wrong. But often, we can stuck there, trying to process the why. We can stop there, filling in answers that don’t really help us move forward differently. I believe the only way to move forward and make real, lasting changes in your life starts with asking different questions.

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5 simple ways to make a change

I read once that all it takes is one person – one person to believe in you and it can make the difference between becoming a heroin addict on the street vs. becoming a happy, successful person. I agree, but seriously? It takes way more to make real, lasting change in your life. I have always embraced change because I know that while it is tough, good things happen on the other side. It’s the only way to move forward! That’s why change management is one of the best parts of my work. I get to listen to people share their concerns and help them get to the other side. It’s very satisfying to see people get there and know that I played a small part in that journey.

There are a few things I’ve learned along the way that you might find useful. Now, bear in mind, I am not a counselor. I am not a psychologist. I am just a person like you who’s had to navigate my share of change. Here’s what helped me and I hope it helps you too:

change1. Hold the intention. Whether your goal is to lose weight, advance in your career, get back to your creative work, or anything else, you must hold the intention to focus on that goal. Block time out on your calendar each week that is dedicated to achieving your goal and plan for that time. Set out your workout clothes the night before your workout. Cook your healthy food for the week every Sunday. Get your creative space ready with all the materials you need the day before. Think about your dedicated time and plan for it. Hold the intention to do the thing that you want to do. The thing that you think you cannot do, to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt.  You not only can do it. You will. Your stuff is already out and ready, after all. 🙂 I used this technique to lose 40 pounds and keep it off for 2.5 years. I’m nothing special – if I can do it, you can too!

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